It is easy to rationalise and say that it is at least on the same planet and that one can still communicate with family back home via skype. But that's not the point. For me I kept saying, “It’s just over there on the map… and anyway it’s already inhabited with thousands of Saffers, so it will just feel like another province…But just before leaving I had no way of feeling that I could rationalise what felt like sheer madness. I was heading off to the land of the long white cloud and may as well have been going into a different dimension; not just time zone. It was a different space, as though I was falling through
And “ag shame” to the Eeyores. Maybe globe trotting is a walk in the park for some or a total no-no for others. Whatever it is, it’s a personal odyssey that should remain just that. I too have
A major paradigm shift brings with it excitement, challenge and massive trepidation. Above all it is horrendously painful, shredding the gut-naked stuff wedged within one’s soul. It’s not always about hedonistic pleasure or selfish gratification. It can be about making immense sacrifices which existentially grow one and all those whom one is closest to.
Published in The Witness 2008
PS. I moved to NZ for my family in July 2008. Some of our family had already started the ball rolling by applying for residency and/or planning to emigrate, when I was offered a position in Auckland. Some chose to emigrate and some to stay in SA. I am thus a mother and grandmother of two lands :)
I am happy. I love NZ. But I miss my Saffer family. And that is the reality of this life. Many Saffers share this sense of fragmentation. I allude to it as being 'shrapnelled...'